Laughter is the Best Medicine

For years, I eagerly opened Reader's Digest and read the section titled "Laughter is the Best Medicine."  In fact, eventually a book was published with the same title that contained many of the stories included in that column.  My mother subscribed for a very long time and when she and my father moved here to Tucson, I rarely turned down the opportunity to catch up with the column.

Another proponent of laughter (and a whole bunch of other things that sustained him for years and I believe enriched the world we live in) was Norman Cousins.  I came to know of him because one of my classmates in eighth grade was one of his children.  I also met him, so to speak, through the pages of the Atlantic Monthly (one of my favorite publications for many years) for which he was an editor.  He was also the editor of the Saturday Review in which he once published an article (also appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine) that eventually became part of a book titled Anatomy of an Illness.  The story also became a movie starring Ed Asner as Mr. Cousins.  Here's the movie plot summary.

The effect of his book under the title "Laughter Remains Good Medicine" was also written about in Science Daily.

So, what's my point?

My son, his wife, and their two boys (my grandsons) flew here to stay nine days with us over the holidays.  After a good night's sleep the evening of their arrival, we soon were introduced to -- among many things -- Olivia, which is my younger grandson's favorite show on Nick, Jr.  If you haven't met Olivia yet either through the book  or the show, I invite you to listen to the theme song.

The ten days they were here were packed with laughter, adventures in our yard, trips to fly a model airplane, and photography (we gave our eight year old grandson his first camera which yielded many photos including this one):

We enjoyed a lot of sunshine and fresh air, too, thanks to Mother Nature who provided some of the best holiday warm weather we've experienced in a while. 

One would think that after they left the house was too quiet (true) and sad (actually, not true since the joy experienced here is still vibrating in the walls, I think).

But, oh do we miss them all!!

However, I went to my usual Saturday morning gathering where the topic was dealing with aging and joined several friends in expressing the happiness that comes from sharing time with children.  In spite of discouragement, frustration, and sadness on another front, I realize that I not only feel happier inside, I also am motivated to complete a number of tasks much more sooner than later.  This is a very good thing.  I think laughter had a lot to do with it.

Reflections on Taking Care of Myself - Signals that I'm Not

March 31 2019

My visits to my therapist have become less frequent for the most part.  I'm happy about that.  Her assessment with input from me is a reliable barometer of how I am doing in my battle (and it is a battle within) to separate myself from the what my loved one is doing without losing or demonstrating that sense of the unconditional love I have for my loved one.

One of the questions I'm always asked is something along the lines of "what are you doing for yourself?"

My list includes things like spending time with my husband, lunching with friends, taking a class, reading, working in the yard, not getting up at the crack of dawn to make an early morning board meeting, and seeing a movie.  The list used to include running but since a bad fall followed by x-rays of my neck that revealed a problem, I've turned to hiking/walking for my exercise.    Another activity is adding to this blog.

Since 1977 when I started running by putting on a pair of leather white and red swooshed Nike's, I've kept a running journal of sorts.  My entries usually included the miles I'd covered that day.  If I felt sick or sick enough not to run, I'd mention that.  If I was injured, I'd mention that, too (and not run).  I've had three injuries that got in the way of my running.  The first was a Morton's neuroma that was easily fixed with a wider toe box, lower dress heels, and inserts with a special pad.  I've successfully stayed away from surgery.  The second was IT band syndrome in 1981 that came about because I ran a marathon arranged to run in the direction of traffic so the cant of the road torqued my knee.  The third was more recent.  I wanted to run up Mt. Haleakala in 2001.  My training included miles uphill on the road up Mt. Lemmon here.  My plantar fascia rebelled.  We didn't go anyway because the run coincided with the awful events of that Fall and our flight was grounded.  

I worked very hard and continue to work to monitor my body in many, many respects.  As I've written elsewhere, my running brought me back to health.  I firmly believe that exercise, if incorporated thoughtfully and carefully, is very important.  I know I feel better having been out in the fresh air and sunshine.

Some folks will include things like the shoes they wore, the terrain they ran.  I'll usually note trail or a specific place like a nearby park that has a great walking path or the track when I used to do time workouts to increase my speed when I was racing. 

I've noticed that a great barometer of my focus on the exercise aspect of my life (which my parents ingrained in all of us at an early age as a means of keeping healthily fit) is not only exercising but also logging that exercise.  A member of the ultrarunning community (of which I used to be a member) created a challenge called the Million Mile Ultra and invited people to log their mileage.  I've been doing that since 1997 although I covered many more miles per year before that simply because I was always in training for an ultra or of our local trail runs that are calendared from September through May here.

One day, after first being startled to see that I haven't been keeping up with totaling my mileage in my journal,  I checked into the Million Mile site and was shocked to see that I had not logged a monthly entry since last August.  This lapse happened a few years ago when my loved one was failing rapidly and just getting out was an effort.  That lapse was three months.  This time the lapse was nine months.  I like making entries on this site because in the past it kept me motivated.   For me there's no competition involved; rather, it's a signal to several people on the list who I have known for a long time, that I'm still out there and somewhat kicking.

However this time, not only was there a lapse in logging, there was also a lapse in posting to my journal.  Fortunately, I am now am bicycling several miles once a week but thanks to many days of not posting in my running journal, there were weeks at a time when I might have put one or two entries if that.  Most lapses occurred early that year and recently I've gotten back on track.

So...... why?  I attributed some of the lapses to being on more celexa than I needed and therefore I simply got lackadaisical about it all.  This lackadaisical feeling over-ran several activities which is why I decided to reduce the dosage while working with my doctor about it.  I eventually quit celexa altogether and now take a low dose of buproprion.  Like many people who start to feel okay again, it's not clear to me that I won't feel okay if I go off the meds.  At least I recognize this fact.  There are those with anosognosia who don't recognize this fact and get into serious trouble when they quit their meds.  [

Reflecting on all of this, and I think my therapist will concur, I get sucked back into the life activities of my loved one when my loved one loses ground.

I've continued to be a member of the therapeutic team and appreciate their including me for I can offer insight on some of the behaviors everyone is observing.  I've been a welcomed member of the team now for ten years.  In the past it was a struggle to advocate effectively because it was so difficult to get key people to listen and take action.  Now the team is more tuned in yet their resources are severely stretched.  For me, knowing what is going on obviously has its pluses and minuses.  Good news is wonderful; bad news is so saddening. 

I continue to monitor myself closely.    I've kept close to my heart the expression, hope for the best; prepare for the worst.  The reader will notice which phrase I put first.

One day at a time.

Nothing like a nap!

This week has been wild, full of ups and downs connected with not only next steps for my loved one, but also arrangements for an extended family member who suffered a stroke almost two months ago and who lives in another state.  

The outcome in each case is to be determined as often happens, but things look promising.

At times like these, when life can get pretty unmanageable, I think of a very useful acronym:  HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.  Here in the desert southwest T could also stand for "thirsty".  In fact, I just took a large glass of ice water out to my husband whose hobby is working on his car and he's been at it for a couple of hours on a rather hot afternoon here.

I, though, was tired.  After going to a meeting and then running several errands on my way home (including filling up my almost empty '03 Murano's gas tank and gasping at the total - $72. and change), I came home, had lunch, and climbed into bed.  A two hour nap was just the ticket so I could help my husband out in the garage by sorting things for Goodwill.  It has been a productive afternoon.

Back to the fill up for a moment.  As I stood there by my car looking at the receipt (I got 19 gallons, the Murano needs premium, and I had been running on air for about a mile), a woman who had just filled up her gas tank nearby remarked, "I'm going to frame mine.  This is the most I've ever spent on gas."

I guess there's a metaphor there.  My car was empty and needed gasoline; I was empty and needed a nap.

Starting....... again

A couple of years ago I attempted to begin a blog. I failed. Years ago that failure would have sent me into a tailspin. Now (and two years ago) it doesn't matter. Interesting how getting on mellows one out.....

Here I am, again. There are so many things I want to write about ranging from my struggles to come to terms with my family member's very long-term eating disorder to my questions about what's next in my life? I want a place where I can write down my thoughts about things like the recent announcement by the Catholic Church that women (still) cannot be ordained as priests. I used to write letters to the editor of our local newspaper but that seems rather fruitless, especially since the current editors tuck things away in the back pages like the recent call to impeach our sitting president. I want to know why the world community, if one believes what Nicholas Kristoff writes today in the NYT that in some parts of eastern Congo three-quarters of the women have been raped, seems to be ignoring this outrage. I'd like to write about creating a walking path in my yard, about the pleasure of pulling weeds, about watching glorious sunsets, about my beloved husband......

PS three years or so later.  Well, I've now spit my blog into two blogs, soon to become three.  One is totally focused on eating disorders; one will be a place for family stories and photos; and the third will be the place I can talk and muse about things.


PPS two of the blogs are private, for access by family only.  The one regarding ED's remains public.  I hope it will continue to be of assistance to those needing further information from the parent of an adult point of view.