Guest Post by Marjie Ruth - Our Role in Their Recovery

F.E.A.S.T. Eating Disorder Conference - November 3-4, 2011

The F.E.A.S.T eating disorder conference in Alexandria, Virginia on November 3-4 will be populated by some of the most knowledgeable folks in the world providing the most recent evidence-based research. 

There are many people working very hard to get a better understanding of eating disorders and at the same time providing information about the latest research in a format that is understandable to families.

We all have a part in getting our loved ones back on their feet. One aspect of treatment -- whether it is a residential stay or visits to a therapist or work with a nutritionist - must be supplemented by the family's knowledgeable involvement. This conference, as well as NEDA's, will surely assist in this direction.

"Mental Illness Defined as Disruption in Neural Circuits" - Dr. Thomas Insel

Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institutes of Mental Health, keeps a blog.  

On August 12, 2011 he wrote an article with the above title and I've linked it here.  I've also linked his blog on my blog site and now intend to review his previous posts.  I'm so excited to have found another important source thanks to one of the F.E.A.S.T. folks!!!

What is ADHD?  What is schizophrenia? What is depression?  OCD?  BPD?  Bipolar Disorder?  Can these be prevented?  can these brain disorders be treated before symptoms arise?  Can the brain's cortex be kept on track or put back on track to develop normally?  Other questions lurk excitedly in the background.

Dr. Insel closes by writing, "While the neuroscience discoveries are coming fast and furious, one thing we can say already is that earlier notions of mental disorders as chemical imbalances or as social constructs are beginning to look antiquated.  Much of what we are learning about the neural basis of mental illness is not yet ready for the clinic, but there can be little doubt that clinical neuroscience will soon be helping people with mental disorders to recover."

Guest Post by Marjie Ruth - Choice

"We choose to be healthy; we choose joy; we choose happiness. These are all choices we make when we have the power to choose. But in order to feel that power, we have to learn what it means to love ourselves."     
~Angela Passidomo Trafford

For those of you who have been to a support group meeting or have been reading these emails for a while, you know that certain "C" words are very important in our struggle to deal with an eating disorder in the life of a daughter or son, a wife, or a friend. The list started out with 3 words describing our relationship with the addictive behavior of a loved one.

#1 - You did not Cause the addiction.
#2 - You cannot Control the addictive person, their behavior, or their addiction.
#3 - You cannot Cure their addiction.

This was our starting point and a lot of emotional information to handle. Through experience and learning from one another, we have added 2 more words.

#4 - You can learn how to Cope with the person and their addiction.
#5 - And you can learn how not to Contribute to the behavior.

(If you would like more to read about any of these very important points, hang on as future emails will deal with each point more in depth.)

And now for a sixth word to add to the list.

#6 - You can grow in your understanding of the role of Choice in the life of the addicted as well as in your own life.

This word, Choice, is like a recurring melody in my own life as it seems to come up in so many contexts again and again. Back in my college days as a philosophy major, I was quite taken with the existentialists who--surprise, surprise--emphasize the power & role of personal choice in our lives. Camus, Sartre, and others express frustration with how unable or unwilling most people are to embrace this notion. Choice is viewed as personal empowerment.

But what Angela Trafford (see opening quote above) is emphasizing, is that before we can even begin to appreciate our own power to choose, we must first come to know, understand, and accept ourselves for who we are. Basic psychology emphasizes the importance of a healthy self esteem if an individual is to grow and prosper emotionally. Without a healthy degree of self appreciation, it is nearly impossible for us to love ourselves. And this is a core concern of the therapy that deals with eating disorders. The disorder is a symptom of a severely wounded psyche, one that is suffering to such a point that the pain of it makes the world seem almost too difficult to handle and so much so as to leave its victim feeling powerless. Hence, there is a sense of relief (however misplaced) that comes from the illusion of power restored through the dietary abuses of the disorder. "I can  experience the  pleasure of  unbridled binging while eliminating the fear of weight gain," thinks the bulimic. "I can resist the calories and have gestapo-like control over what goes in my body and ultimately I can change my body and even make it disappear if I choose," thinks the anorexic. What begins as a choice to try on power for size, ends up as an addiction with the controller becoming the controlled. What seemed a way out of a painful prison, becomes a trap of unparalleled proportion. It is as if they experience thinking that they've found a way out of mere detention, only to find themselves in a concentration camp--a metaphor with all too many parallels to the anorexic in particular.

The hope is that with the therapist as guide, the disordered person will be able to slowly and painfully begin to take down the walls of the camp through the process of recognizing and healing past hurts, rebuilding an ailing self esteem, and developing a voice that is one of strength and self integrity. This voice of recovery will have the courage and self compassion to make choices that are healthier and more likely to lead to happiness. The pain did not occur all in an instant. The damage was done probably less like that of a hurricane (a single traumatic event) and more like the relentless toll of tides and waves on a small wooden dock (the persistent and cumulative effect of life's daily harsh and sometimes toxic social environment on fragile and sensitive psyches). The damage we see--the visible weight loss, the evidence of binging and purging, the social withdrawal--is the outward manifestation of pain that has been present inside for a lot longer.

Getting help is the important first step in recovery. (Technically, being willing to get help is the first step with finding help being the first hurdle.) Patience and perseverance are the next. And along with this comes the necessity of choice. Each sufferer of an addiction must ultimately make a choice for life, a choice to recover. And along with that singularly pivotal choice comes a barrage of individual choices that must be made constantly, each step of the way in order to support and facilitate that choice to fight for recovery. Every single day, involves a multitude of complex and difficult choices. A million times over one must choose to eat and to eat wisely and healthfully. While it sounds so simple to us, it is a monumental task, especially in the beginning, as with each bite of every meal there is a struggle against the full force of the disorder which has quite literally taken over the brain. A thousand times over the addict must choose to be honest with self, therapist, and family. Endlessly they must choose to resist giving in to the thoughts in their head that distort self image so radically. Every minute that they are awake a fight must ensue to keep strong against thoughts that tear at their fragile self worth, only to find that even when sleeping too often dreams are nightmares that torment and rob them of needed rest while requiring still more recovery upon wakening. And always they must keep on choosing a painful recovery...keep on choosing life.

The good news is that for every time the choice is made for recovery--honestly and without compromise--it strengthens and heals the inner self. The world around will not be changed by it, but the person's ability to deal with the world, with life, and even their own reactions to the world will be changed. The eventual result, if they can continue choosing recovery, will be a person who is no longer beaten down by the tide, but instead can find pleasure in surfing the waves.

Marjie Ruth
727-244-9011 (cell)
sruth1@tampabay.rr.com
MarjieRuth1@gmail.com

As always, feel free to pass this email on to anyone who might be the least bit interested. Just be sure to include my name at the end so that they will know who takes responsibility for all that's written here and whom to contact if they should feel the need. Thank you.