Welcome

When I created this blog, I was "getting on" in my early sixties, hence the blog name. However, my adult daughter's eating disorder and co-occurring emotional dysregulation disorder and other co-morbidities - ongoing for about 33 years - became and was our focus as we attempted to help her get into recovery. By learning about, reflecting on, reading about, attending conferences and writing about eating and brain disorders, I created a place to blog what I've learned. I hope this blog will be of use to others, especially families of and adult sufferers themselves to help them get into recovery. I update posts from time and the update date will be present at the top of the post.

Sadly, my daughter passed away in early October 2021 mainly because her body became so malnourished that she was immunocompromised, contracted a severe infection that was not properly addressed during an earlier hospital stay the month before, and developed an overwhelming non-covid pneumonia following surgery to save her life. I believe she should have been able to receive palliative care but Arizona, our country, and even the professionals trained in the treatment of eating disorders, particularly anorexia, are not "there" yet. I address the issue of palliative care in a recent post below, initially written in November 2021. I am not a certified eating disorder specialist. I am an Expert by Experience and college-educated with a BA in Community Work with an additional certificate in a one-year program in Business Administration from the same institution.

I am passionate about all of this because, as Shakespeare wrote in The Taming of the Shrew, Act 4, Scene 3: "My tongue will tell the anger [and sadness] of my heart or else my heart, concealing it, will break. And, rather than it shall, I will be free even to the uttermost, as I please in words."[2016]

Travel Guide

If you're new to my blog, I recommend you begin on the right side and take a look at the "Of Note" offerings. Read Dr. Cynthia Bulik's recent published interview (5/4/22) "Rethinking Eating Disorders" if you want to print an easy-to-understand professional's expert opinion about anorexia for your family doctor or the therapist. [Early intervention is absolutely critical. For those whose eating disorder is categorized as entrenched or severe and enduring, read the editorial comment by Stephen Touyz and Philipa Hay for a new approach about treatment. It is possible for your loved one to recover! I have also attached a link here for additional papers on the subject of severe and entrenched eating disorders. If you are a family member or friend of an adult with an eating disorder and have been at this for awhile, I refer you to the posts within the title "Adult Eating Disorders and Recovery Tools" found in the Index on the right hand side of this site. As well, in the "Of Note" section take a look at those posts with an asterisk. If you're a parent and need support, look for posts in the Index about parent support or parent toolbox. In my opinion, the best book to buy, to refer to constantly and to share with members of the medical/psychiatric profession is "Sick Enough: A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders" by Jennifer L. Gaudiani MD, CEDS, FAED. "Dr. Gaudiani aims to improve medical diagnosis and treatment, motivate recovery, and validate the lived experiences of individuals of all body shapes and sizes, while firmly rejecting dieting culture." I recommend two groups who will support you on your journey - F.E.A.S.T and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. Both maintain websites and Facebook private groups.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Eating Disorder Recovery is a Process/ED Treatment Must Be As Well

Among all the messages coming at the public in the media this week are those focused on eating disorders, thanks to the growing initiative known as Eating Disorders Awareness Week.  Some of the messages are personal; i.e. they are stories.  Stories tend to grab attention as many of us know which is why the Eating Disorders Coalition has worked so hard to create the means for families to tell their stories to legislators on Capitol Hill.

This work extends beyond Washington, DC to individual states like Arizona where yesterday, Senator Katie Hobbs introduced a resolution to our Legislature.  Here's her resolution:



Yet stories present "just" one perspective on a disease that we know now is biologically based and that research is revealing appears for reasons that aren't quite understood.  So, to educate the public somehow these stories in the media especially this week need to be couched in a constantly updated base of information about eating disorders.  Some pieces are introduced with that kind of information; others are not.  Some continue to highlight the relationship between mother and daughter/son in ways that can be interpreted as blaming.  The media needs to get beyond this blaming message by improving the message and one of the ways the media can do that is by introducing the story with, perhaps, a few sentences that emphasize that eating disorders are, in fact, biologically based illnesses.  The how remains the question and many are working on a solution including organizations like F.E.A.S.T., NEDA, ANAD, NAMI and others as well as dedicated researchers.

Yet this is only part of the entire picture.  The other part is the necessary acceptance by all concerned -- parents, the medical establishment, insurance companies, the legislature, and the individual herself/himself who may or may not be aware of their role in getting well -- that recovery is a process and not just dependent on one stay in a residential facility or a several months-long effort on the part of a team including the family.  Many of us have learned that the potential for the reappearance of the illness may be a life long tendency. 

In addition, the recovery process depends on the Establishment's/the public's awareness that treatment of eating disorders must be carried on in the same way that treatment is provided for other biological illnesses.  So, for example, a person with diabetes or multiple sclerosis gets on-going treatment covered by insurance (one hopes and that's another topic) and monitored on an ongoing basis, as well.

This is not as simple as it looks.  Those with illnesses like diabetes can monitor their own illnesses through daily tests and periodic doctor's visits.  The treatment of eating disorders, because they aren't well understood yet, isn't as easily defined.  And often, the brains (thinking processes) of those with eating disorders are so compromised that they are unable to monitor their "state".  So, a system needs to be put in place for this illness that provides ongoing coverage by insurance so that anytime a person with this illness falters, s/he can return to more intensive treatment to get back on track without having to jump through hoops to get it.

In other words, the door to treatment for eating disorders must remain open and methods of treatment (both physical and psychological) must remain flexible to address that person's changing needs since this disease affects people of all ages.  All too often doors are slammed shut without alternatives provided.  This situation must change, especially for those whose eating disorder has been progressing for a long time.

The bottom line is that we need legislation to make sure that insurance providers and the medical establishment remain as open to the need for ongoing  treatment  of eating disorders as they are for diseases like diabetes.  In addition, we need the education/continuing education of doctors and therapists to include the latest information about treatment of eating disorders and the incorporation of this information into the required re-licensing of all.




Monday, February 24, 2014

F.E.A.S.T. Conference 2014: Remember to Take Care of Yourself, Too!!




March 28 2019

A few years ago, I flew to Dallas to attend the 2014 F.E.A.S.T. Conference, Connecting the Dots: Expanding the Knowledge Base and Extending the Circle of Care to Fight Eating Disorders.

Three of the speakers - two presented together - focused on a critical aspect of the Circle of Care; namely, the caregiver(s).  This topic is often overlooked because so many of us are focused on the Knowledge Base rather than on the Circle of Care.  However, without a strong Circle of Care -- whether it's composed of mom, dad, partner, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, grandparents or friends to name a few -- the well goes dry.

Those of us who make up that circle must take care of ourselves.  So, how can we do that?

I attended the session titled "From Hopeless and Fearful to Empowered Caregiver!" by Becky Henry, CPCC, who is the Founder of the Hope Network, LLC and a member of the F.E.A.S.T. Board of Directors.  The second session, presented by  Karl and Ellen Kregor,  the grandparents of a young woman who attended the conference, was titled "Extending the Circle of Care: how can extended family support a loved-one with an eating disorder".  [I wish I could have attended both and I look forward to watching the video of the Kregor's session.]

I've written previously about the enormous responsibility taken on by parents and other family members and friends who step up in one way or another to ally with a person who is fighting an eating disorder.  I've written about my own recovery, both in terms of learning how to advocate for my loved one in a healthy way - i.e. taking care of myself; as well as my own recovery from bulimia more than 35 years ago.  If you've been reading my and others' blogs, you probably have seen terms and phrases like in the trenches; post-traumatic stress disorder;  it's a marathon, not a sprint; help! 

Emily Long, LPC, developed a list, a link to which is no longer available, about Extreme Self Care (which is also the title of a useful book of the same title by Cheryl Richardson - The Art of Extreme Self Care).   I've reprinted Emily Long's list of 100 items below.  Many of these suggestions are on my own list and I've added a couple more.  One of the first things Becky Howard asked us to do at the start of her presentation was to make a list of what we do for self-care.  Did you know that smiling releases endorphins?  that laughter does the same thing?  Even if you don't feel like smiling, smile.  I always feel a shift; I'm pretty sure you will, too.

As family members, our goal is to identify things we can do -- if only for a moment or a few minutes, or an hour, or an afternoon -- to take a break.  To re-nourish our spirits and our bodies.  To reconnect with our own support system.  Frankly, I truly believe it's impossible to carry on without these kinds of activities.  Some of the suggestions are beyond the means of some readers; others just aren't possible given time contraints.  But, all offer a way to disconnect, recharge and take a long drink from that Well, the gathering place for women over the ages.

Post the list where you can see it!   On the refrigerator, on your mirror, by the front door.

Thanks to a meeting I attend just about every Saturday, I've learned the acronym H.A.L.T.  It's a reminder that if I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired, I need to halt what I'm doing and take a break.  Here are some ideas:
  1. Naps
  2. Massage
  3. Have an Adventure Day
  4. Read (easy, fun reads though, not self-help or professional books!)
  5. Snuggle with the cat (or dog or baby or kids)
  6. Hugs
  7. Long walks and/or hikes
  8. Bubble baths
  9. Movies (again, easy watches – not horrific documentaries or violent battles or super sad ones that remind you of your own losses)
  10. Order dinner in (or have someone else make it)
  11. Say no
  12. Buy yourself flowers
  13. Sip a mug of hot, soothing tea
  14. Play in the snow
  15. Dig your toes into the sand (dig your toes in the grass.  Remember the movie Pretty Woman?)
  16. Feel the sun (or rain) on your face
  17. Hold hands
  18. Meditate
  19. Get a facial
  20. Listen to your favorite music
  21. Make a delights list
  22. Do something on your delights list
  23. Repeat above (over and over)
  24. Acupuncture
  25. Snuggle with your partner
  26. Have sex
  27. Journal
  28. Turn off the computer, cell phone and TV for 24 hours
  29. Go on a retreat
  30. Sit and people watch
  31. Garden or even weed!
  32. Do something creative (draw, knit, crossstitch, paint, cook, write, color, make a collage, etc.)
  33. Daydream
  34. Dance with a child
  35. Have a Harry Potter movie marathon (it’s a personal favorite!)
  36. Take a mental health day from work
  37. Keep your daily to-do list to 3 items or less
  38. Swing on the swings
  39. Have energy work done
  40. Have a laugh fest with your best friend
  41. Eat simply
  42. Break up with your TV
  43. Allow yourself to cry and experience your emotions
  44. Join a support group
  45. Get a pedicure (or manicure)
  46. Tell yourself “I love you”
  47. Browse your favorite bookstore (or music store)
  48. Have a game night with friends
  49. Write thank you notes to those who have touched your life and inspired you
  50. Spend the day exploring your town – go places you don’t normally go
  51. Practice random acts of kindness & senseless acts of beauty
  52. Write a love letter to someone you love ( doesn’t have to be a partner)
  53. Write a love letter to yourself
  54. Have a “Freedom from Self-Improvement Day”
  55. Listen to Holosync
  56. Color (try going outside the lines – its fun!)
  57. Keep a gratitude journal
  58. Talk a walk with your camera – take pictures of all you see that delights you
  59. Find and notice something beautiful every day
  60. Do something badly.  Keep doing it.
  61. Admire beautiful artwork
  62. Do absolutely nothing
  63. Do one brave thing everyday
  64. Play
  65. Treat yourself to something
  66. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful or handsome and confident
  67. Have an “All Day PJs Day”
  68. Say I love you everyday
  69. Jump in piles of leaves
  70. Quit the job you hate that drains you
  71. Say YES to what you truly love
  72. Give yourself permission
  73. Let go of belongings you no longer love or use (even family heirlooms)  Also applies to relationships
  74. Hire someone to clean your house
  75. Hire someone to mow your lawn
  76. Let go of your story - aren't you tired of it?
  77. Laugh
  78. Be generous
  79. Lay in the grass and watch the clouds
  80. Take a long walk with your dog
  81. Ride horse
  82. Give up New Year’s Resolutions.  Pick a word instead
  83. Stop drinking caffeine
  84. Dance around your house
  85. Forgive others
  86. Forgive yourself
  87. Make a list of the things you want to do in your lifetime
  88. Do one of those things
  89. And then do another
  90. Eat healthy, whole foods
  91. Eat something unhealthy AND enjoy it without self-criticism or guilt
  92. Watch cartoons
  93. Read the comics
  94. Smile for no reason
  95. Call the friends you’ve been meaning to call
  96. Go complaint free
  97. Schedule a day of no schedule
  98. Go boat riding
  99. Buy yourself a cheery balloon
  100. What do you do for extreme self-care?
  101. Seek therapy/psychiatric care
  102. go outside in a rainstorm and splash through puddles
  103. Walk through your local nursery.  I did and took a photo of the petunias at the top of this page (and then bought the basket and brought it home).
  104. Eat a piece of dark chocolate
  105. Give Up [this is not what you think so read my definition just below]
#105 - Give Up - is an important one for me.  Somewhere along the line through these many years I realized that to Give Up does not mean to quit; rather, it means to give it up to God so that S/He can relieve me of my worries and cares for awhile.  Another similar expression is "Turn it Over."  In the middle of the night when I wake up, I now envision God wrapping my loved one in a white soft blanket and holding her so I can get some sleep.  This image has helped me countless times to get the necessary sleep to carry on.

#101 - my own experience re seeking therapy/psychiatric help

To close, my mother who was part of my family member's (and my) Circle of Care loved to needlepoint.  She created this for me so I would remember that I do not have to "do it" alone:




Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Guest Post by Marjie Ruth: Memorize and Repeat - Be Consistent and Persistent

[This post seemed especially pertinent to me this week.  I often fail in my efforts to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.  Practice, practice, practice.]

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
~ James Thurber

 The other week I was communicating with one of our mom's who is currently going through a challenging time of growth with her daughter. "Time of growth" might sound like something of a euphemism when used in reference to dealing with a loved one who is in a serious (sometimes life or death) struggle with their disorder and things don't seem to be going very well. How can a relapse or regression be termed anything so trivial or pleasant sounding as a "time of growth"? Shall we call living on the edge of Hell just a period of "cozying up to the fireplace"? Nope, I'm not underestimating the amount of pain that families go through (lived there, felt it) when the things get rough. Periods of growth, or struggling to grow, are challenging and difficult. Remember the common term growing pains? Yes, now you know why the word pain is used. Growth can be very, very painful and generally the level of pain correlates directly to the level of dysfunction involved. So what might be a less painful though perhaps still somewhat stressful step for a more highly functioning person, is a real crisis with an uncertain outcome for someone battling a serious addiction or personality dysfunction or other mental illness. 

At all times and especially during the challenging moments with our loved ones, it's especially important for each of us to be consistent and persistent in the establishment and maintenance of healthy boundaries. Be consistent: be clear to yourself and your loved one as to what your boundaries are and say the same thing over and over if necessary (see: persistent) to stay on point and to get the point across that you mean what you say; be on the same page with your spouse, or partner, or other involved family members so that the message is consistent among all; avoid second guessing yourself--especially under pressure--and retreating back to your old comfort zone of enabling behaviors. Be persistent: stay the course as growth and change generally take much longer than we would like, hope, or expect. So often we give up and give in without realizing that we just veered off the path of the goal we so wanted (growth and change) and have derailed recovery because it was simply too uncomfortable for us.  Frankly, it's no fun being a border control guard, but that's the role that we pretty much must assume in order to protect and enforce the boundaries that we establish with our loved ones. It's difficult because their addiction will constantly want to test those boundaries to find the weak chink and attempt to break through. That's what desperate disorders/addictions do. They fight for survival through exerting control over their host--your loved one. Sound like an invasion of aliens? That's what it often feels like to us, but to them it just feels like trying to make it through another tough, tough day.  

And it can be tough on us to feel as though we're being harsh and mean and cold by enforcing the "rules", but I guess that is simply the way it feels when we have to stick with healthy boundaries against the onslaught of a very ugly disease. Addicts retreat repeatedly to the "comfort" of their addiction because it feels good/safe in the moment. And then when that brings negative consequences down the road, guess what they do to deal with those bad feelings? Yup, it's back to the addiction for another comfort fix. The struggle for recovery can be very painful for everyone involved or affected by the addict. What we need to constantly remember is that one good result does not a cure make. In other words, the lure of the addiction is so strong, it takes a lot of new learning and growing to get to a place of being able to resist it. So that means we must continue to stay grounded in our enforcement of boundaries for a long long time...for always. 

Wishing for you strength, courage, peace, and hope.

Marjie Ruth
727-244-9011 (c)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Part 3 of 3 of the F.E.A.S.T. Conference, January 31 through February 1, 2014 - Connecting the Dots: Expanding the Knowledge Base and Extending the Circle of Care to Fight Eating Disorders

As an advocate mostly through my blog but also through other activities including sharing experience, strength and hope on two websites, my trip to my State Capital to provide legislators with my and my family member's abbreviated story after presenting the same 20-minute story to a group of local therapists, as well as low-keyed (well, maybe some don't think it is/was so low-keyed) coaching of key members of my family member's team, I was curious to hear Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh's presentation as well as Colleen Wise's the following day.

Laura is the Founder and Policy Director of F.E.A.S.T. and much, much more as can be learned if you read her bio.  I find it difficult to address her as Lyster-Mensh or even Collins (the name she used for years) because she has become my and many people's amazing hero and citizen scientist and I am startled at times to realize that I, like many others, are on a first-name basis with this incredible woman.

Her talk was titled, "An Advocate's Vision for a Complete Spectrum of Care," and her vision, I believe, is not just for those who are ravaged by eating disorders (and here I am talking about all of the people affected when a family member develops one) but anyone who needs health care.

Rather than to report the details of her multi-faceted vision, which will be available at the F.E.A.S.T. site, I found it ironic to recognize and reflect, as I listened to Laura's presentation, that my family member's care has been anything but a continuum.   Rather, it has been a patchwork of a dysfunctional mental health system; of laws well-intentioned but at times interfering and discriminatory; protocols that have been standard or above average to substandard or not standard at all that vary from institution to institution; of communication -- partial or even miscommunication between and among caregivers that has at best prolonged her illness to actually has endangered her life; of at times a piecemeal approach to diagnoses and treatment independent of comprehensive records; and of people/organizations who ranged from incredibly devoted to bringing a person into recovery to interested in treating only one aspect of the illness to a few who were downright sadistic and uncaring.

We have met and been helped by individuals and institutions who/that have bent over backwards in an attempt to identify possible effective courses of action, who have offered reduced cost of treatment given our extended family's increasing burgeoning expense, who served pro bono in a variety of capacities, who have stretched their institution's capacity to work with our family member, who have answered a telephone call from an absolute stranger (Kitty Westin did this for me several years ago after I was given her private number by a friend in a medical setting who observed the dire circumstances my family member was in), and who have listened when I have presented information that could not possibly be comprehended in a weekly one hour session. And, so much more.

There have been several times over these many years if you'd asked me if I thought my family member would be alive in one, two, seven and now twelve years in this second go-around, I would have retained hope of the possibility but uncertainty that her body and mind could survive what has happened to her.  I know that others have experienced equally challenging situations and others have lost the fight.  In fact, at the beginning of her relapse, a friend and therapist told me more than ten years ago to "hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

Yet on the plus side, as I expressed in Part 1, advances have been made in the knowledge and treatment of eating disorders that have made survival and even a productive life more of a possibility for the boys and girls, and young men and women who have been undermined by eating disorders.  Much needs to be done.  It seems the bottom line is the absolute necessity of getting information from doctors, clinicians, psychiatrists, scientists and other researchers to those who actually are diagnosing and treating individuals far faster than happens now (at the 2010 NEDA Conference I heard the remark that it can take twenty years for research to reach those who practice; this marker has certainly been reduced thanks to the internet, devoted scientists, and determined advocates) combined with the requirement that all in this field -- in fact in any aspect of the mental health field -- be recertified to demonstrate that they are current with findings and implement them for those in their care.

Dr. Thomas Insel, Director of the National Institutes of Mental Health, suggested a recertification requirement in his presentation to those attending the F.E.A.S.T. 2011 conference.  By the way, he also keeps a blog and recently revealed that his daughter struggled with an eating disorder.  You can find more about him here.  Also, here (NYT article).  He's been a wonderful advocate to many.
I will close this personal response to Laura's concept of the ideal Complete Spectrum of Care by describing (since the image disappeared) five concentric circles, the innermost one being the patient .... or actually in an ideal situation I would call them human cells, as it were, with permeable membranes so that information flows freely between and among all components, the components (from outer to inner) being the law, the community, the professionals, the family, and the patient.

So, how does a person determine whether or not the information that appears in research documents, published papers, reports at conferences,  the media and so on is valid?  Why treatment at one facility might correctly be characterized as more effective than at another?   What conditions must be met to assure us that the data are correct so we know, for example, that x protocol is better than y, or that Family-Based Therapy is effective?

To better understand these and other questions, I looked forward to attending Siobhan McGurk's presentation, augmented by informational slides including this checklist




(Siobhan McGurk, 2014, used with permission.)



of what to look for when reading a paper as well as a hilarious example (you'll need to view the video to get the full effect of the laughter that followed) of how an unsuspecting individual could reach a preposterous conclusion about the cause of Global Warming.  I think the expression is, "correlation does not equal causation."  If anyone was asleep at the beginning of her talk, certainly that slide and the laughter woke them up.

McGurk's talk, "It's Elementary: Decoding the Evidence in Evidence-Based Medicine, a How To Guide" was designed to show us how to read and make sense of the literature.  She walked us through definitions, illustrations, examples of abstracts as well as papers, and explained contents, language and symbols used such as p value.  She explained levels of evidence; the differences between types of studies (for example cohort studies) and clinical trials including what she termed the gold standard, which is a randomized control trial and why the RCT is the gold standard.  I encourage readers to access her talk when it appears on the F.E.A.S.T. website.  The information in her presentation will certainly help me to distinguish between results of works in progress as well as anecdotal evidence and valid conclusions that can be implemented to make a difference in treatment and outcome.

A helpful but nowhere near as detailed as McGurk's presentation is this one published by the University of Minnesota - "Understanding Research Study Designs."

I was also surprised and pleased to learn that all medical studies published in this country must be submitted to the United States National Library of Medicine so they can be accessed and read.  The NIH maintains this website.  What a resource and certainly worth a visit.     The Wikipedia description provides extensive information about the purpose of the Library.

Although I did not list this presentation in my initial piece about the conference, I recommend Dr. Kerri Boutelle's overview of Family-Based Medicine, that followed.  Incorporated in FBT is the principle that there are three phases of recovery.  I regularly read Dr. Sarah Ravin's blog and I referred this outline to my family member's treatment team.   Dr. Ravin discussed Phase II here and, in fact, there's a link to Phase III, as well.  Again Dr. Boutelle's presentation was taped and will be available on the F.E.A.S.T. website.  I do want to note there was considerable discussion around the re-feeding topic and the "how" and "what" of it.  Several participants of the conference pointed out that one of the most "popular" discussions on the Around the Dinner Table site is what, how much, and how to refeed.

I've been a frequent visitor to and reader of Dr. Julie O'Toole's blog.  She is the Founder and Medical Director of the Kartini Clinic in Portland, Oregon.  Her talk, "Towards a Definition of State not Weight" provided us with additional information she believes is valuable to understand where a young person is on the road to recovery.

As I've found, often insurance companies evaluate a candidate for treatment (and therefore financial support) based on their weight and/or BMI.  As I've also observed over the years and read in published research papers, not much can be accomplished during therapy sessions without weight restoration so weight has become a key indicator not only for progress on the road to recovery but also payment for and release from the care of a residential facility.  However, what I've also observed, just because weight has been restored does not necessarily mean that the person is recovered or perhaps better worded, in recovery.

Dr. O'Toole believes and is collecting evidence that markers for State are also important and their clinic uses blood tests to determine how the child's or adolescent's biology is doing.  I extracted the following paragraph from her blog of  November 27, 2013 titled "Eating for Life" to explain accurately what the Clinic does and why.

We currently do metabolic testing on all children on admission to our program as part of our effort to understand and work with their individual biology.  Typically, in the case of AN and disorders involving weight loss, we see low levels of leptin, low thyroid hormones (TSH, T3, T4), very low female and male sex hormones (LH, FSH, estradiol, testosterone), low zinc levels, low nutritional markers (C3 and total T3) -- all at levels consistent with starvation.  And typically, as we track them through weight restoration, these levels come up to normal and the child -- if a girl --  either initiates or resumes menstruation. Boys get their testosterone back and with it their energy.  That is, some boys and some girls.  Others however, depending no doubt on their genetics, go off the rails in a couple of ways.  Some develop insulin resistance and post-prandial hypoglycemia, others develop apparent leptin resistance.  Some have stubbornly low leptin levels that act as a “stop!” signal for return of female hormones (no LH surge, low estradiol).

As Dr. O'Toole continues to make a case for the necessity of these markers, perhaps doctors and medical personnel involved in the treatment of those with anorexia and other eating disorders will also include these tests and eventually a study can be conducted to evaluate the necessity of adding these and perhaps other markers to the list of what could be considered a medical description of a return to a nourished state.

My aside scribble in my notes is a suggestion that an endocrinologist be added to the team of an individual receiving FBT or to the team of an adult receiving outpatient therapy as well as to the staff of facilities that treat eating disorders.

After another wonderful lunch, this time of salmon, we returned to hear Colleen Wise, a Parent Advocate, discuss "How to advocate/educate while telling your story."  As an aside, I've struggled in the past with what to include in any presentation I make as an advocate about the effect of an eating disorder not only on our family member but also on our extended family.  I've considered that my family member's story is really her story, not mine.  Yet none of us in the family can truly extricate ourselves from the effects of the eating disorder on a person who we all have known since birth, who we love dearly, and about whom we have wonderful and funny as well as now in fact terrifying and sad memories.

So often we must advocate for another stay in a hospital or in a residential facility or in a facility that offers outpatient care.  I remember responding to a friend that the cost for residential averaged (this was several years ago) $1,000-2000 a day!! and watching her jaw sag in disbelief.

Thanks to organizations like The Eating Disorders Coalition in Washington, DC, there are now organized opportunities to advocate for our loved ones before members of Congress as well as at the State level thanks to the National Eating Disorders Star Program that brought me to Phoenix.

There are opportunities for us to speak out when we see an advertisement in the media or hear someone convey misinformation or repeat tired phrases that insinuate blame on the family.

Colleen presented a humorous and also very emotional account of her family's story accompanied by photos.  In Part 1, I concluded with some thoughts on the heartbreak that can occur in families when the eating disorder interferes with the relationship between mother and daughter or mother and son.  This is not uncommon; I've heard this far too many times and from families that were loving and intact until the disorder made its appearance.

Some of Colleen's points included the very important notion of removing anger out of your presentation, to be succinct, take brochures and other informational material (like the F.E.A.S.T. publications), try to find common ground and common goals, and present relevant facts.   I particularly appreciated her suggestions on how to phrase the introduction of information that hopefully would change, for example, a doctor's approach when working with your family member.  I loved her comment that you don't have to be an expert.  I know I can become cowed by authority and fail to make simple informational points that could change the point of view of the leader of a treatment team.  Watching Colleen's presentation and hearing her suggestions was very empowering and very helpful.  I encourage readers to watch her talk when it's uploaded to the F.E.A.S.T. website.

In closing, I again want to thank the conference organizers and presenters, the parents and those in recovery who attended and whose comments enriched our experience, the representatives of treatment facilities who attended, as well as the ever-present moderators on the F.E.A.S.T. Around the Dinner Table website/forum.