Yesterday one of my favorite bloggers connected her readers with another TED talk session. After watching a remarkable presentation by Elyn Saks (Yale Law School Graduate; Professor, USC College of Law; and MacArthur Fellow among other accomplishments) and about her life's journey with schizophrenia, I decided to browse around and see what else I could find before dinnertime.
I noticed that Susan Cain had been a presenter (more than 2 million views at this point) - The Power of Introverts - and I remembered that I had not yet finished reading her book, Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking (Crown Publishers, 2012). In fact, I'd barely started a few weeks ago. After watching her talk, I vowed I'd pick up her book again. So, this afternoon, I did.
I'm not finished yet, actually. But I am quite grateful to Charlotte for leading me to the TED site and for a few minutes of my own yesterday afternoon, because I've learned more not only about myself, but have come to understand a lot more about introverts, developmental psychology, and perhaps even about my family member.
I don't think I would have picked up the book this afternoon if I hadn't also attended my usual Saturday morning meeting and realized how far I'd come in the program (and how much more work I needed to do). I know myself far better than I did eight years ago. I've also come to understand at a much deeper level how different my family member and I are.
She's an extrovert. In fact, she confirmed this yesterday when we talked. I'm an introvert. And, Susan Cain has helped me to understand better what these two words mean developmentally and how we differ.
I've also just realized how this knowledge fits so aptly into the concepts of family therapy and communication, topics that I've written about on my blog (links provided earlier in this sentence) - e.g. "All in the Family and Elsewhere." Susan Cain provides terrific examples of how both children and adults respond to experiences, depending on this part of who they are. For example, I rarely have either the television or the radio on. Sometimes I'll listen to music while doing something. My husband, also an introvert, often remarks about the peacefulness of our home and how much he looks forward to coming home after a long, busy, interactive day. When my family member comes to visit, however, her first comment is something along the lines of "it's too quiet here!"
She likes to be with people a lot; I need time-outs and relish days at home after spending other days with groups of people in meetings. One might ask, how does this translate into what you daughter or son needs as part of their recovery? their experiences at home following a stint in a residential treatment center? These are important questions for the family to address before their loved one returns home.
Backtracking a bit, I wrote a piece on States and Traits after hearing Dr. Kate Tchanturia's talk on Cognitive Remediation Therapy at the NEDA Conference in New York City a couple of years ago. I hadn't thought much about traits lately until I listened to Susan Cain's talk. I'm thinking a lot more about traits now that I've read her book and about the research of scientists like Dr. Jerome Kagan.
Dr. Kagan's studies have revealed that one can pretty much forecast whether one will become an introvert or an extrovert from infancy and that fMRI's and the work of one of his colleagues, Dr. Carl Schwartz, have shown that the processing of the adult brain really hasn't changed that much - in other words the traits are fairly intact in spite of a lot of other things we call environment.
I'm still reading (Chapter 6 and sensitivity as well as empathy) and will probably come back here with more to say. In the meantime, I've found reading Cain's book to be very helpful as I unravel the puzzle of my family member's journey.
Information is provided about eating disorders, particularly of adults, to parents and other loved ones written by a parent who is in recovery from an eating disorder.
Welcome
When I created this blog, I was "getting on" in my early sixties, hence the blog name. However, my adult daughter's eating disorder and co-occurring emotional dysregulation disorder and other co-morbidities - ongoing for about 33 years - became and was our focus as we attempted to help her get into recovery. By learning about, reflecting on, reading about, attending conferences and writing about eating and brain disorders, I created a place to blog what I've learned. I hope this blog will be of use to others, especially families of and adult sufferers themselves to help them get into recovery. I update posts from time and the update date will be present at the top of the post.
Sadly, my daughter passed away in early October 2021 mainly because her body became so malnourished that she was immunocompromised, contracted a severe infection that was not properly addressed during an earlier hospital stay the month before, and developed an overwhelming non-covid pneumonia following surgery to save her life. I believe she should have been able to receive palliative care but Arizona, our country, and even the professionals trained in the treatment of eating disorders, particularly anorexia, are not "there" yet. I address the issue of palliative care in a recent post below, initially written in November 2021. I am not a certified eating disorder specialist. I am an Expert by Experience and college-educated with a BA in Community Work with an additional certificate in a one-year program in Business Administration from the same institution.
I am passionate about all of this because, as Shakespeare wrote in The Taming of the Shrew, Act 4, Scene 3: "My tongue will tell the anger [and sadness] of my heart or else my heart, concealing it, will break. And, rather than it shall, I will be free even to the uttermost, as I please in words."[2016]
Travel Guide
If you're new to my blog, I recommend you begin on the right side and take a look at the "Of Note" offerings. Read Dr. Cynthia Bulik's recent published interview (5/4/22) "Rethinking Eating Disorders" if you want to print an easy-to-understand professional's expert opinion about anorexia for your family doctor or the therapist. [Early intervention is absolutely critical. For those whose eating disorder is categorized as entrenched or severe and enduring, read the editorial comment by Stephen Touyz and Philipa Hay for a new approach about treatment. It is possible for your loved one to recover! I have also attached a link here for additional papers on the subject of severe and entrenched eating disorders. If you are a family member or friend of an adult with an eating disorder and have been at this for awhile, I refer you to the posts within the title "Adult Eating Disorders and Recovery Tools" found in the Index on the right hand side of this site. As well, in the "Of Note" section take a look at those posts with an asterisk. If you're a parent and need support, look for posts in the Index about parent support or parent toolbox.
In my opinion, the best book to buy, to refer to constantly and to share with members of the medical/psychiatric profession is "Sick Enough: A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders" by Jennifer L. Gaudiani MD, CEDS, FAED. "Dr. Gaudiani aims to improve medical diagnosis and treatment, motivate recovery, and validate the lived experiences of individuals of all body shapes and sizes, while firmly rejecting dieting culture."
I recommend two groups who will support you on your journey - F.E.A.S.T and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. Both maintain websites and Facebook private groups.
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